Three days ago was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day- I’m sure for many it was a heart breaking day of wounds that haven’t yet healed, or memories of empty wombs, or sterile hospital walls.. for some I know it would be a day of remembrance a memorial for those little feet that once tiptoed around the house. I can’t even begin to imagine the sense of loss that comes with losing an infant..
A few days ago Ava and I headed out to a play place with some friends and their children. We jumped on jumping castles and played in ball pens. We climbed ramps and slide down huge slippery slides- it was a great day! Towards the end of our time there we went back to the little kids area.. inside the play area was a mum and her baby boy- he was probably around 10 months old. I noticed straight away that she had a white cain. A mixture of emotions flooded my mind and heart.
Her baby boy fell a few short seconds after we walked in and began crying.. I went over and asked her if she would like me to help him, but she said she was fine and promptly packed up her cain and started following his cry to pick him up and console him. I burst into tears.. even re-writing this experience is making me cry.. I turned to my girlfriend and commented at how sad it was that she couldn’t see him.
My heart broke for her. Had she always been blind? Had she ever seen her son or was she blind from his birth? Something I take for granted every day was not “granted” to this mother and it broke my heart.
I take for granted being able to see Ava and play with her. I almost see it as a chore putting her to bed every day or bathing her.. times when I wish I could simply sleep uninterrupted for 6 hours but instead find myself getting up multiple times during the night..
There are mums who have never experienced a child calling them mumma, or dads who have never had someone to rumble with.. there are mums who are deaf who have never heard their children’s voices and dad’s who have never seen their children play a soccer game.
I felt like I needed to document what I experienced as a reminder to cherish every day I have with Ava. I hope this little part of my day reminds you to be grateful for the things you are able to experience, the children you are able to hold and even the waking minutes spent rocking that little one to bed. No time spent with your children is wasted or inconvenient.