Heart Whispers

Ramblings from when we first brought Reagan home… (and I never posted for fear of judgement)

A bird lands on the pram next to me as I watch my eldest play in the sand. A quick flick of my hand and the bird flies away. I grab the cap for my youngest’s pacifier- would birds think it’s food? Not sure, but I don’t want to take the chance. I make a mental note to sanitise my hands after touching the handle of the pram.

Her voice cuts through the millisecond of silence- “faster mumma, I want to go faster.. The slide, I want to go on the slide”.. I’m brought back to reality and slow the spinning contraption in front of me down so she can get off. I wrangle her arms around the baby strapped to my chest and lift her off. I watch her navigate through the sand towards the big slide, a little boy nearby catches her eye but he’s quite a bit younger than her, she looks away disinterested. “I want to go on the swing mumma.. the swing.. the swing..” She won’t stop till I acknowledge what she’s said. I push the pram over to the edge of the swing set and gingerly step through the sand to push her. “Higher mumma.. higher..” “Patience” I exclaim .. it sounds meaner then I wanted it to.

You wanted this.. I hear my heart whisper..

The baby on my chest stirs.. I start the mumma bounce- one hand pats her little bottom while I make the white noise “shhhhh” sound for a solid minute hoping that she lulls back to sleep. “I want to get off mumma.. I want to go on the small slide..” “Really? You just got on the swing..” I exclaim.

If you can just make it to nap time.. I hear my heart whisper.

I think in terms of hours now. 3 hours till the next bottle, 4 hours till nap time.. if I stretch bottle number 2 I can get them both to nap at the same time. Dinner is in 2 hours if I do bottle four at 6pm. If I go to sleep right this minute I’ll get 5 hours of sleep or I stay up for bottle number 6 and then get 4 hours of sleep..

You don’t have me time.. I hear my heart whisper..

I lay on the carpet, willing and coaxing my newborn to lift her head.. if she can just look to the left. I can feel the anxiety building in my chest. I’ve googled neck issues consecutive nights this week. I’ve rotated her bed, I’ve called her name- nothing seems to be working. I’ve been on a seesaw of celebration and worry. Was it something during pregnancy, maybe something I ate, maybe she was too squished in my womb.

It’s your fault.. I hear my heart whisper..

I see crumbs littering the floor beside the kitchen.. The vacuum cleaner sits beside the staircase. How are there crumbs already- I only vacuumed an hour ago. Dishes peak out from the top of the sink. I see her bright pink and orange bowl. It was used to house a chocolate biscuit but really only held for decoration. Chocolate crumbs scatter the couch- I say a quick prayer that she didn’t smoosh the chocolate into the fabric.

You can’t keep this house clean.. I hear my heart whisper..

We have dinner guests tonight..as our guests file through the door my eldest runs over to her sister and with a “ta-da” pose exclaims- “Here’s my bubba! She’s such a cute bubba!” I feel tears prick my eyes.. “This is her dummy and her bouncer..This is Baby Raegan..”

These are your girls..I hear my heart whisper..

I stir from sleep, reaching for my phone- it’s 6:05am. I feel a weight near my legs and look up to see my eldest with her Eeyore teddy leaning into the bassinet. A moment of panic sets in until the silence is broken by her little voice “Eeyore.. this is Baby Raegan..” Hello.. hello.. hello baby.. mmwwaa..” I’m lulled back to sleep by her voice introducing Fluffy Bunny..

She has such a kind heart.. I hear my heart whisper..

Family Photos

So I know it has been a number of weeks since I last wrote.. I went back through the site and yikes.. it’s been forever..

Life has gotten a little busier with two kids but to be honest I haven’t really felt the inspiration to pull out the laptop and blog. I’ve spoken to a few people who think that blogging is dying or has died but if it’s dying (or is dead) where else am I going to be able to post something longer than a caption? I refuse to be one of those people who put a “continued in the comments” statement at the end of their essay caption on instagram.. ha!

In the last few months since I’ve blogged we’ve gotten into more of a routine with Raegan, Ava’s started preschool one day a week, I’ve gone back to work 4 days a week and we’ve gotten family photos! Today I’m sharing some of the highlights from our family photos that we absolutely loved. If you’re in Sydney and you need a photographer you should look up Hayley Rafton! We had photos taken with her 2 years ago when Ava was just over 1 so we knew we had to use her again to document our growing family!

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Introducing Toddlers to Jesus

This may sound like a strange topic but I know it’s something that I was very much unaware of how to navigate. Obviously I can’t remember back to when my parents introduced me to Jesus (I can barely remember what I wore last week) so it was something I was totally unprepared for or more so unaware of what to do. My family and I attend church regularly (multiple times a week actually)- we’re heavily involved in different departments so since birth Ava has always been at church and exposed to what it means to worship and pray etc. In the almost-two years of her life she has learnt so so much from walking to talking, eating, likes and dislikes, how to articulate people’s names and identify objects- toddlers are sponges so I knew I needed to make some intentional efforts to start introducing her to this God that we serve and love.

Children’s Bible’s

A friend of ours gifted Ava, at my baby shower, her first Bible Words book. It’s a picture Bible with a few short stories and pictures with words to help educate kids- this is Noah’s ark, this is baby Jesus, this is the sun etc It probably wasn’t until she turned about 18 months that she was actually interested in the story lines. I won’t lie and say this book is her go-to for story time but she does pick it every few days. If you’re based in Australia Koorong have some great Kid’s Bibles. I love going to their store and showing Ava the various Bible’s and books. If you are going to buy your child one I would recommend taking them with you and gauging their response to the book- the feel of it, the pictures, read them a short excerpt and see if the language is engaging. We have this one by Sarah Vince.

Start Bedtime Prayer Time

We have started to do a little prayer time with Ava before she gets her bottle in bed. We will ask her what or who she wants to pray for (if you watched my insta stories a few weeks ago you would know that her prayer request one night was “Pet’s- the movie”.. I prayed for all the pets in the world that they would be good and have a great day tomorrow..” We were secretly dying on the inside from laughter. The other night her prayer request was for her Nanoo- it was so strange as we don’t see Nanoo very often but she wanted to pray for him- I led her in a prayer that God would work on his heart and that he would know that we loved him (and we loved his truck that went beep beep as added by Ava)- It was quite a tender time.

If you attend a Church with a Creche or Sunday School- send your kids!

Our Creche at church starts at 2 years old but they have let Ava slide in considering she is almost two. The church we used to attend when we were living in the States has a Creche/Sunday School for kids from the age of 1! I  can’t speak for all church creche’s but I know the one Ava attends during our Sunday Services teaches her about the Bible and Jesus. They sing along to Christian music videos and soundtracks – thankfully it’s not just a babysitting service.. not that that would be a bad thing when it comes to 1 year olds and trying to keep their noises to a minimum during a service (ha). However, with that being said..

Let your toddlers experience church!

I have been there and done that (and am still there a bit) when it comes to toddlers and noise and church.. it’s just a really bad mixture. I think the default for many parents is to hang out in the foyer or in the mother’s room (I see it a lot on instagram surprisingly)- while there is a time and a place when yes, your child just needs to roam in the foyer or is super overtired (you just know those times are going to end in you sprinting from one side of the church to the other with a screaming child) but I think we can get into a rut of “containing” our toddlers at church rather than letting them “thrive” and experience church. The Bible says that when two or three are gathered together He is there with them, in the midst of them- I don’t know about you but that makes me yearn to have Ava in those church services where we know His presence is. I want there to be a familiarity for her of the presence of God and the unity that comes with worshiping with the church which can only be done if we are intentional about exposing them to our church services. Ava loves to sing along and dance (albeit a ballerina dance) to our songs- I often see her in the arms of someone with her hands raised singing and clapping along- the book of Proverbs says “train up a child in the way they should go..” There is something sacred and Holy about experiencing the presence of God with your children.

So while I’m no expert I hope I’ve given you a few ideas on how to be more intentional about talking about Jesus with your toddlers! If you have any other good ideas that I haven’t covered I would love to hear from you!

Turning a corner at 8 months..

I know, I know, I’ve been pretty slack with updating the blog.. I tend to just do a photo dump.. which is what I’m doing today.. but I promise I’ll try harder!

It feels like we have turned a corner with Ava. She seems to have developed into a toddler the last week or so- everyone has noticed it. She’s not longer baby, but more so young girl. When she looks at you- she actually looks at you and studies your face. She’ll yell like she’s trying to tell you something. She rarely wakes up at all during the night for dummy/pacifier (thank the Lord).. She’s moving around the house in her walker just fine, and is content to just play by herself for large stretches of time.

The other night I looked at Greg and commented at how I could understand why people miss the baby stage- it’s so fleeting..

So today, I give you a photo dump from Easter up until last week! My not so little baby is growing up.. I hope we’re ‘growing’ her well!

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